YABATEKGOONS : 07/02/16

Ojota Violence: BRT Operator Counts Loss, 48 Buses Vandalised

The operator of Ikorodu-CMS bus rapid transit (BRT), Primero Transport Services Limited yesterday said no fewer than 48 vehicles were vandalised due to violence that erupted at Ojota on Wednesday.

Ikpeazu No Longer Abia Governor by Law, Says Agbakoba, Falana

Former President of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), Dr. Olisa Agbakoba (SAN) has stated that Mr. Okezie Ikpeazu is no longer the Governor of Abia State in the eyes of the Law.

US Raises the Alarm over Starvation in the North East, Buhari Sends Food, Drugs

The outgoing United States’ Ambassador to Nigeria, James Entwistle on Thursday expressed strong reservations about the humanitarian crisis in the North-east triggered by the ongoing war against Boko Haram, saying that Nigerians are dying of starvation in their country, and called for urgent action from

Boko Haram Strikes Borno Village, Kills Drunkard, Steals Food

Boko Haram struck Dile village in Askira-Uba local government area of Borno State torching some buildings and stole all foodstuffs and livestock in sight.

Watford land Success, stop Ighalo

Premier League club Watford have paid a club record £12.5m to sign Isaac Success from Spanish outfit Granada.

I robbed to pay my children’s school fees — Suspect

Two months after Mojeed Ogooluwa, 34, was sacked from his job as the Financial Secretary of the Tricycle Operators Association in Ketu, Lagos, he did not think of something else than to take to robbery.

Lagos to jail street hawkers, buyers

The Lagos State Government said on Friday that it had begun a total enforcement of the law prohibiting street trading and hawking.

Be professional in addressing N’Delta threats, Dickson tells troops

The Governor of Bayelsa State, Mr. Seriake Dickson, has cautioned the new Commander of the Federal Government security outfit in the Niger Delta, Operation Delta Safe, to be professional in addressing security challenges in the region.

Athletics: Bolt may miss Rio Games

Jamaican sprint star Usain Bolt is facing a race against time to be fit in his bid for an unprecedented third treble Olympic gold with the Rio Games just five weeks away.

Bolt withdrew from the 100m final of the Jamaican Olympic Trials on Friday with what the reigning Olympic champion described as a mildly torn left hamstring.

The prospect of the 29-year-old 100 and 200m world record holder, seeking his third consecutive Olympic titles in the 100, 200 and 4x100m relay, missing the Games will rightly give organisers and fans palpitations.

I didn’t steal Majek Fashek’s song – Timi Dakolo

Music star Timi Dakolo has denied the claim that he stole veteran artist Majek Fashek’s song.

Majek Fashek had told Saturday Beats recently that Dakolo stole his evergreen hit, Send Down the Rain.

Gunmen kill Oyo House of Assembly member

A member of the Oyo State House of Assembly, Gideon Aremu, representing Orelope State Constituency was killed by gunmen on Friday evening.

WAEC EXAMINATION FUNNY

Time: 1hr 30 mins
SECTION A (Answer all questions. Questions carry
equal marks)
1. What are the names of the two people holding
hands when you switch on a Nokia phone?
2. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the
past tense of Make?
3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest
number of ladies using blackberry phones?
4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on Facebook,
who sent the friend request and why?
5. If the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the
cost of moi?
6. Who ate the missing part of the Apple logo?
SECTION B (Answer All Questions. 10 Marks each)
1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls,
who likes money more?
2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the
Diameter of Elegushi beach. (Take pi=3.142)
3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi?
4. If your X-boyfriend/girlfriend wins
N50,000,000 on who wants to be a millionaire
after you broke up, find the value of X?
5. If it takes Goodluck one hour to deliver a typed
speech in a national conference, how many days
will it take Patience to deliver the same speech on
the same occasion? Assuming the polarity of the
audience is kept constant?
SECTION C (Answer any two questions)
1. Tu-face was given a Prado and Ferarri on his
traditional wedding and white wedding
respectively. There is every likelihood that D-Banj
has gone ahead to print wedding invitation cards
without an available bride.
Discuss (20 Marks)
2. Write a short essay of not more than 500 words
on 'My Oga At The Top'. (20 marks)
3. What's the name of the lady that says "Please
enter your secret number" at the ATM machine
and explain why she is chosen for the job. (20
marks)
Your time start now! GOOD LUCK! Please answer
correctly. Thanks —

YABATEKGOONS

Saturday, 2 July 2016